The Fine Line Between Passion and Fear

When I think of fear and when I think of passion, the two go hand in hand. For me, I can't have one without the other. Passion is defined as "a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something", while fear is defined as "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, whether the threat is real or imagined." Both passion and fear are very intense, strong, feelings, however, they're almost extreme opposites. While passion is supportive, fear is suppressive. For two emotions that are so different, why in my life do they intertwine?

As a result of my experiences, I've realized that my fear is what drives my passion and my passion is what drives my fear. It has become an insecure and uneasy feeling thinking of the possibility that what I am most passionate about is at fault for what I am most fearful of.

What is my passion? Travel.
What is my fear? Lifelong solitude.

My passion is traveling; I'm enthusiastic and excited about it. For quite some time now, about 5 and a half years to be exact, I have been driven by this innate desire to keep.on.going. My restless feet and wanderlust filled soul don't have an inkling of desire to "settle down" any time soon. Daydreams are filled with new adventures and prospective travel plans. Traveling feels like a  never-ending trail blaze: vibrant, strong, continuous. Each new city creates a burning desire for the next. The more I see, the more I want to keep seeing. As a traveler, I'm constantly seeking my next adventure, my next experience. Happy, sad, and difficult experiences turn into memories. For travelers, it's hard to be satisfied with just memories. We continuously want more, not more things, but more places and more experiences.

 You may think I'm crazy for what I'm about to say, probably because I'm only 23 and I shouldn't be worried about this kind of thing, but I can honestly tell you that my number one fear in life is the fear of living it alone. Not being alone in the temporary "poor me I'm lonely sort", but the truly depressing, never finding my lifelong person, dying alone sort. It is my emotion aroused by the impending pain of solitude.

Being a passionate traveler is the root of my fear. It causes it. As my passion increases, my fear continues to grow. I fear that I am going to go through life, visit all these amazing, beautiful places, but never have anyone to share my experiences and memories with. I fear that I might be so focused on my passion, so focused on my next adventure, that I will never allow my heart to open to my potential "someone", or for my body to stay still long enough to find out. I fear that the further I dive into my passion, the more I push, the more I travel, the more I deepen the potential of my fear to actually come about.

So if my passion is the cause of my fear, why do I still pursue it?

Although I have come to terms with the fine line between my passion and my fear, I refuse to let fear win. Although we might be afraid of things in life, afraid of the risk of danger or pain, what we receive from our passion is all the more worth it. If I were to sacrifice my passion, my love for adventure and travel, that would mean my fear wins.

Whatever your fears are, don't let them win. Let your passion win, it's rewarding in a way you could never imagine.